Inspiration: I wrote this during a 6-minute write in a Life Stories class. I've made minor changes to the piece shared in class.
***
Here I am listening to the sound of the ocean. Present, yet also far away. I'm in this beautiful place, this magical place, yet there is this underlying current of uncertainty. There's joy, mixed with sadness. Excitement, intermingling with trepidation. A feeling of gratitude, dancing with anxiety. I'm so happy, yet so miserable. The line between one and the other is oscillating, blurry, fuzzy, grey at the edges. The sound of the ocean allows me to lose myself in thought, yet it also jolts me, spitting me out of my consciousness. Tumbling into the present moment.
And yet. And yet. I look around and take it all in. All this beauty that I can still witness, despite the pain.
I think back to that night on the balcony, being lulled by the waves and I'm grateful to have been there. I thought I would feel like I'd lost something. I thought I'd be missing something. I wish I had known at the time that everything would be ok. That life wold take me in the right direction. That I'd be able to follow my inner compass. That I would give it all up to be here. Look back, not wistfully, but fondly. Looking forward, not in fear, but with anticipation. I am exactly where I was meant to be.
***
Here I am listening to the sound of the ocean. Present, yet also far away. I'm in this beautiful place, this magical place, yet there is this underlying current of uncertainty. There's joy, mixed with sadness. Excitement, intermingling with trepidation. A feeling of gratitude, dancing with anxiety. I'm so happy, yet so miserable. The line between one and the other is oscillating, blurry, fuzzy, grey at the edges. The sound of the ocean allows me to lose myself in thought, yet it also jolts me, spitting me out of my consciousness. Tumbling into the present moment.
And yet. And yet. I look around and take it all in. All this beauty that I can still witness, despite the pain.
I think back to that night on the balcony, being lulled by the waves and I'm grateful to have been there. I thought I would feel like I'd lost something. I thought I'd be missing something. I wish I had known at the time that everything would be ok. That life wold take me in the right direction. That I'd be able to follow my inner compass. That I would give it all up to be here. Look back, not wistfully, but fondly. Looking forward, not in fear, but with anticipation. I am exactly where I was meant to be.