#10

Inspiration: The below piece began as a short write that I shared in a Firefly Creative Writing class led by Jenna Tenn-Yuk at the Toronto Public Library. We went through an idea generation exercise where we created a number of different lists. We were then asked to complete a 6-minute write expanding on one of our ideas. The writing prompt was as follows: "These days, I've been noticing..." and I pulled an idea from the list: "Feelings or emotions"

Timing:
I started this piece on Wed May 8 2019 with a 6-minute write in class. I made a few minor changes on Wed Aug 14 2019 before publishing it on 52 Memoirs.

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These days, I’ve been noticing myself becoming more aware of my thoughts, feelings, and reactions. In the past few weeks, I’ve been slowly digesting a book called Awareness, and it’s changed me. The stories contained therein echo the lessons I learned at a Vipassana silent mediation course last December, and it amazes me how differently I view things outside of my control when I look within myself. As I seek to understand my emotions objectively, I’ve noticed I feel a certain sense of calm when I used to feel nervous or anxious. I don’t fear negative emotions like I used to. I don't lash out or react as much when I'm angry. I don’t cling to feelings of happiness or excitement. I’m starting to truly understand the concept of impermanence.

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Reflection: I kept this short memoir as is because I wanted it to be a reflection of how I felt in May of this year. This piece reminds me that I should consider signing up for another Vipassana course and that I should read the rest of Awareness.